Coronavirus: An Asshole Survival Tips

Hey yo, what’s up? I’m back…😁

Long time no see!

Or should I say, long time no write? It feels like ages since I last tapped away at the keyboard, and man, it feels good to be back in action, crafting words to enlighten you all HAHA. Life has been quite the rollercoaster lately, taking me on unexpected detours and keeping me away from the joy of writing. guess what? I'm here baby! Ready to dive back into the blogsphere with fresh dose of enthusiasm and share some epic stories with y'all.

So, let's catch up, shall we? Grab a cup of coffee and join me as we embark on this new shit chapter together. 

Before I move on, I wanna give you a heads-up, I’m gonna say from this part down might unleash a bit of anger, frustration, and general WTF-ery. If that's not your thing, no worries! Feel free to go and explore other content that aligns better with your well-being.

So, how have you been keeping busy during quarantine besides Netflix and chill? Bored af, huh? Same here, people! Hang on a sec, while Netflix has been a go-to for entertainment, I gotta  admit there hasn't been much "chill" happening on my end. By the way, do you know about the true definition of "Netflix and chill"? It's not just about watching Netflix and snacking dumbass, but it actually involves some more intimate activities. To be precise, it is a situation where you invite your partner over to watch Netflix and, well, engage in sexual activities. Yes, it's a euphemism for having sex! It's super funny when I see friends on Instagram using the term without understanding its true meaning. But let's not dwell on that any longer and move on.

In today's blog, I wanna share how I've been surviving this crazy Corona outbreak in my everyday life. Can you believe it? I've been stuck in quarantine for a whopping 43 days now! It's driving me nuts because I never thought I'd be trapped in this never-ending nightmare for so long. I still vividly remember the day when President Jokowi announced the first two confirmed Covid-19 cases in Indonesia. I was a bit panicked but managed to stay calm since I had no idea it would turn out this bad. Boy, was I wrong! The number of cases keeps skyrocketing every single day, and it feels like everything is spiraling out of control. It's fucking insane!

Let me tell you, the vibes on day one of quarantine compared to today, day 43, are on a whole different level. Back in the first week, I was all hyped up, thinking it would be like this:

Day 1-2: I was like, "Oh hell yeah! Time to binge-watch all those cool Netflix shows that have been chillin' on my watch-list forever!"

Day 3-4: I was all about diving into a stack of books (my TBR) for some much-needed mental nourishment.

Day 5: I even tried some online workouts to keep my immune system in check.

Day 6: Zoom sessions with friends and family were the highlight of my social life.

And on day 7, man, I was like, "You know what? I can do whatever the fuck I want!"

So, I gotta be real with you, I did manage to check off all those activities, but damn, the excitement faded real quick. I just lost interest in doing any of that stuff anymore. It's a bummer, man. Quarantine got me super bored, and it's still the same story. This whole situation sucks big time! I miss my friends like crazy. I wanna see their faces in person, not just through a screen. I miss our hilarious bin julid lunch break chats. And you know what else? I miss hanging out at Plaza Senayan with them after work, grabbing some good meals together. I'm just itching to get out and about. This quarantine shit is driving me up the wall!

I've never been much of a social butterfly, but I gotta admit, quarantine is being difficult even for me. You know what really grinds my gears? Seeing all these people still going around like nothing's going on. Like, seriously, is it that freaking hard to keep a minimum two-meter distance and avoid crowded places? It's for your own damn good, dumbass! I mean, I can't really complain about Gojek or Grab drivers because we still need their services (as long as they bring their brains along for the ride). But man, I've witnessed a whole bunch of idiots just chilling without masks, acting like there's no pandemic going on. What the actual fuck is that? It's so hard for me not to say something when I see dumb shit like that.

As someone who's been cooped up for months, it really bums me out to see folks straight up ignoring those stay-at-home orders. It's making my second week of quarantine feel even worse, if you can believe it. I'm running out of patience, like, seriously. I've got this constant lethargy going on, and it's like I've lost all motivation to keep going. All I do is lie around like a damn log, catching some serious Zs. I wish I could make a positive impact on society or even just on myself, but let's be real, I suck at doing good deeds. So, instead, I resort to grabbing my laptop and writing a bunch of shit on my blog that no one gives a fuck about. I mean, seriously, who am I kidding? I can't expect people to read my blog when they don't even know it exists. It's a tough pill to swallow, man.

Living in quarantine for almost two months is straight-up insane! I mean, I always thought pandemics were just some ancient tales from history books, you know? Like, I heard about the Antonine Plague, the Spanish Flu, and even the Black Death, all those crazy stuff that went down centuries ago. But it never even crossed my mind that we'd be dealing with a pandemic in the modern world. I mean, come on, isn't the earth too advanced for that crap? And then bam! Coronavirus hits the scene. What the actual fuck! At first, I thought it was just some outbreak happening in China, like karma smacking down those heartless folks who cruelly tortures dogs and cats, or those weirdos eating all sorts of filthy shit. But that virus spread like wildfire, hitting up countries all over the globe. I mean, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK is going on?

I've been in this angry state where I just can't help but despise the Chinese government. They can’t let this shit be water under the bridge, you know? They gotta face the consequences. It's like their country is all fine but the rest of the world isn't, including my own damn country, is still suffering. I've never felt so utterly disgusted by something in my entire life until this came along. And hey, just to clarify, I'm not being racist or anything. I mean, how could I be? I've been dating this Chinese dude for years. But damn, this fucking Corona is really messing us all up.

Let me tell you, this quarantine is seriously messing with my habits. My sleep schedule is all kinds of fucked up. I'm officially a nocturnal creature now, especially on the weekends (not that every day feels any different, though). I'm exhausted from binge-watching too much shit on YouTube, so I end up crashing from 10 am to 4 pm and starting my day at 5 pm, going strong until the next morning. It's crazy, man. But you know what? This quarantine has actually helped me discover my true self. I've become a pro at lounging around during the day and somehow transform into a productive human being at night. It was in the dead of night when I stumbled upon this fun blogging video that got my creative juices flowing. And bam! Here I am, sharing all the stuff that's been weighing on my mind during this wild ride.

I've got a million things running through my mind right now, but being stuck in this fucked up situation is definitely not one of them. It's seriously taking a toll on my sanity. My family is miles aparat from me, and I'm stuck here with nobody around. It's making me feel so damn lonely, like I might not die from the virus itself, but from being lonely as fuck. And to top it all off, I'm running out of binge-worthy shows to keep me entertained. I don't know if it's just me or if Netflix is getting hella boring lately. I mean, I just finished watching all the seasons of Elite (trust me, it's be slightly better than Riverdale or 13 Reasons Why), but it was just... mediocre show, you know? I don't what's gotten into me to throw away my time watching those crappy shows on Netflix. I'm not sure if that type of show is really my thing. I kinda just hopped on the bandwagon because everyone kept telling me to watch it. The final episode seriously blew my mind, but at the same time, it left me feeling frustrated as hell. I don't think I'll ever fully recover from that.

Netflix has already confirmed the next season of Elite, but honestly, I'm not sure if I'll be as hooked on it this time around. You know, with all the stress and uncertainty going on these days, I don't think watching that kind of show is the smartest move. It can get pretty intense, and we don't need any more stress, you feel me? So, instead, I highly recommend you switch it up and watch some good ol' wholesome porn (becanda sayang, 😂). 

I just signed up for Amazon Prime and Apple TV, thinking I'd find some awesome shows to watch. But,  once those shows ended, I found myself stuck in this weird limbo of not knowing what the hell to do next. I've watched everything and my interest just fizzles out real quick. Nothing seems to get me excited anymore. It's like I'm stuck in this never-ending cycle of boredom.

I've reached that point in my life where I'm just sick and tired of everything. These group chats are driving me nuts with all the fake news about this damn Covid. And don't even get me started on Instagram, where all I see is people whining about quarantine non-stop. Netflix? Boring as hell. TikTok? It's like a broken record, repeating the same shit over and over again. And Twitter? Man, it's become this nonsensical mess that I can't even wrap my head around anymore. It's like the whole world has gone crazy, and I'm just over it all.

I gotta tell you, one of the best things I've found to cope with this whole quarantine situation is straight-up shutting down all that noise. I straight up turned off Instagram for weeks, and I'm not even sure if I'll ever turn it back on. I'm just so damn tired of all the toxic people and their damn Cinderella Complex. It wasn't easy cutting the cord at first, considering I've been hooked on Instagram for years, but you know what? I'm starting to get the hang of life without it. I gotta say, going days without being on social media brings me so much peace. It's like a breath of fresh air. It's way more calming and fulfilling in some strange way.

I’m off grid and I love it!

Netizens always have something to say. They're like, "Oh, so you're claiming to be off the grid, but you're still gonna keep producing content on your blog? Doesn't a blog still count as social media?" 

Dude, relax. I did my homework, and I know that blogging technically falls under the social media umbrella. But listen, this is my turf, my blog, and my rules. I prefer to see blogging as something different, you know? Sure, there might be some similarities, but overall, it's different. A blog is all about creative content, expressing feelings, ideas, and your unique perspective. On the other hand, social media these days has become a place for showing off, creeping on people, seeking instant fame, and unnecessary drama. It's like it gives people this license to be mean-spirited and judgmental. But a blog? It's nothing like that. That's why I don't consider my blog as social media anymore. It's a space where I can share my experiences and connect with you guys, especially during this crazy quarantine life.

Today, nothing worth discussing than 'quarantine', right?

Through this blog, I just wanna share all the good things that have come out of my quarantine life. Like, I've been reading so many books, and I've actually been spending hours on the phone with my mom and my besties. Can you believe it? I never used to do that before! This whole pandemic has really changed my habits and even my perspective. Remember when I said this was gonna be an angry blog? Well, turns out, that's not entirely true. As I hit week 6 of this quarantine journey, I've come to realize that life's too damn short to hold grudges, you know? And yeah, I had some major beef with the Chinese government for messing up my normal life. But now, I've had a moment of clarity. Maybe this is just the new normal, and I gotta deal with it. Like, it's a blessing in disguise, you feel me? Being all hateful and angry is just pointless. None of the folks in China wanted this crap to go down. So, let's hate on the virus instead, not the people. 

Stay home, wash your fucking hands, stay safe and two meters away from everyone, stay two hundred meters away from assholes!

Ciao!